By Yolandi Boshoff, Author & Soul Coach

What does that statement and phrase actually mean?

As a little kid when you start to walk around and be a little human you are taught certain behaviours. Your parents for the most part try and teach you right from wrong, how to behave in an ‘acceptable’ way and how to present yourself to the world out there.

Photo by Brett Sayles on

Now if you come from the type of household where the standard question is to ask – What would people say if we did things in this or that way? – then that makes for an interesting life as an adult.

So many of us are constantly asked to consider what everyone else will think of our way of being. We are not taught to consider what is important to us or how we feel about certain issues. And this is not a blog about how we should blame our parents for being serial people pleasers, but this is a blog that moves you into the space of questioning your own behaviour.

Have you ever sat yourself down and looked at why you do what you do? Why you are exhausted and constantly giving to others without ever having any regard for yourself? Any idea why you have such awful boundaries and allow yourself to become a floor mat for those around you?

Well, maybe it is time that we have a bit of a chat…
Boundaries are one of the biggest issues we all face and in my pursuit of finding myself it was one of the first hurdles that I needed to address.

My lack of boundaries in my own life created so much stress, anxiety, and burnout.

From a young age we are taught that we need to be less selfish, help others and be unconditional in our behaviour. Well, as lovely as that is, it creates a shit storm when you hit adulthood.

So take some time today to sit and think where in your life you are boundaryless. Make a list of people closest to you that you feel resentful towards. Those areas in your life where you feel like people are taking you for granted. How certain people never say thank you or even acknowledge what you are giving to them.

When we start to acknowledge where we are allowing others to take advantage of our energy and our goodwill that is the first step to finding your truth. When I realised that my time and energy mattered and wasn’t just there to serve all those around me it moved me to a different arena entirely. It allowed me to look at what I needed in my life and how I was not in integrity with my Soul. How she really wanted to help but from a place of her rules, a place where she made the rules. Not from a place of having to please others or to feel that she was constantly selfish.

Finding your truth is about bit by bit unravelling all the ideas that we hold about ourselves, about the world around us and about how we have been conditioned and taught to show up in it. And understanding the importance of honouring yourself and your needs is one of the first steps.

So take some time today to see where you are giving your power away and how you can start pulling it back so you can use it for something that your Soul actually wants to accomplish on this earth plane.

Yolandi works as a Soul coach with clients in more than 35 countries across the world. Her passion is deep Soul remembering and reconnection. Helping you to step through the fear, find your voice and own inner guru again. Through her work with Mary Magdalene and DNA activation she guides you through your journey of expansion and living your true Soul purpose.

If you would like to find out more about connecting with your own truth through spiritual DNA activation, you can book your session with Yolandi below:

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