by Leanne MacDonald, Spiritual Coach & Founder, The Everyday Goddess Revolution
I have had the opportunity to learn this lesson, many times over, until I finally started to realise, it is not my job to resolve the expectations of others.
That feeling of someone demanding something from you, demanding you to respond to them in a way that alleviates and soothes a limiting belief that resides only in their mind. That feeling used to make my stomach drop.
As someone who reads energy before actions or words, when I sense people are expecting something from me, demanding something from me, demanding I behave in a certain way and then categorising me when I don’t fulfil their needs – I tend to close down.
This has been one of my life lessons to learn and for years I attracted people who overwhelmed me with their needs and desires, having an intense fear of speaking my truth, instead allowing them to project their need for me to support them to make them feel good about themselves or experiencing a petty response.
Needing me to behave in a way that they want and demand me to, otherwise being offended and choosing to place the blame of their emotional tension for not getting what they want on me. Married with my fear of speaking my truth – created many a disastrous situation and drama! ha
100% of conflict comes when a person expects you to behave in a certain way, there is a failed expectation.
This human experience is a funny old one, you can either live life fully in your mind or live life one foot in and one foot out.
I choose 18 months ago to live life fully committed to one foot in and one foot out, after years of going back and forth.
One foot in, knowing my truth as a powerful creator of my own life, one foot out knowing the oneness of life.
I began for the first time in 41 years to create boundaries and one of those boundaries is the knowledge that I no longer attract anyone who demands me to behave the way they expect me to and go in a huff when I don’t.
Its not energy I need to navigate anymore as I have done my work around that now.
It was a pattern I had to break, a lesson I was meant to experience and navigate in this lifetime.
The clues to where we need to do our own work lie in the patterns, what keeps coming up in our lives.
What is always the end result of relationships, situations, and events for you?? What are your common worries, problems, thought patterns? – that pattern is the biggest clue of the beliefs that are holding you back.
Fear of using my voice and speaking my truth has been a strong unconscious and conscious belief for many years.
I was conscious it was a problem, but I was overwhelmed by the fear to understand how to navigate it.
That spell was finally broken very recently when I had a session with Soul Coach, Yolandi Boshoff. She helped me to understand fully where this intense fear had come from and helped me to break the cycle and since fear of speaking my truth has not been a problem for me.
We bring with us trauma and beliefs from our past lives that become our unconscious, but we are created as individuals to experience our own experience journey, we are one, but we are not here to be the crutch of another human being navigating their individual truth and trauma.
Imagine the world if we all took 100% responsibility for our own trauma and unconscious beliefs rather than projecting them onto another?
Seeing others with absolute compassion, seeing their actions and behaviours as a result of what they were navigating in their own mind, rather than taking it as a personal attack.
Freely setting boundaries and choosing who and what is meant for your life right now, knowing you are not responsible for any other person’s experience.
Knowing we all have something to navigate in this lifetime and can only navigate to the best of our conscious awareness.
Everyone just doing the best they can.
For me being around people who are not aware of their unconscious beliefs and thus projecting them outwardly on me doesn’t work, that’s my truth.
And we are all have our own truth, and that’s totally fine.
What is your truth?